So
by Logic's Prerogative
Summary: An assortment of intriguing musings in the wake of Volume Two.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Heroes and all its respective characters are not owned by me. No money is being made off this story – just a vague sense of deranged amusement._**

* * *

So…**_

…_what does the 'brainman' do with all those brains anyway?_

_--Matt and Mohinder_

* * *

"So what do you think he does to them?" 

"**What does who do with what?"**

"Oh come on, you know! Sylar…what does he do to the brains he takes. You can't say you haven't wondered about it before."

"**Unfortunately, as the case may be. I sometimes wonder if comprehension or confrontation is the true key to that particular puzzle. They say that ignorance is bliss…I doubt I could think of better exemplification."**

…

"I bet he eats them."

"**Excuse me?"**

"What? Even Molly's said it before. You remember; _'He'll come for you and eat your brain.'_"

"**Molly is a child, and she was frightened at the time. I seriously doubt that she meant her words in a literal sense."**

"Well, what about all the crime scenes we were at? Hm? Not a single brain in sight."

"**Well, yes. It generally isn't common phenomenon to witness eviscerated human organs lying about on the sidewalk."**

"I'm telling you, he spilt open their skulls and ate it all up. Like some…exotic delicacy or something. God, it makes me sick just thinking about it."

"**I can only imagine why. Look, not to pour cold water on this theory of yours, but it just isn't anatomically possible for a human being to simply…**_**ingest**_** another person's brain, physically **_**digest**_** it, and then **_**assimilate**_** its constituents. Aside from the sheer impracticality of consuming an entire human brain within a stringent time frame, the mere process of digestion would destroy whatever he hoped to attain from his target. It's the reason, say, that people don't adopt the traits of monkeys after dinner."**

"Well after all that's happened I just can't – wait; people actually _do _eat brains?"

"**In certain cultures, it actually is considered a delicacy. They tap a hole in the monkey's skull and eat whatever's inside. While the creature is still alive."**

"Yeah, thanks for clearing that up."

"**You **_**did**_** ask."**

"Adding a picture of him downing someone's brain like – like _Jell-o_ – wasn't really what I needed to add to my mental collection of, _'Things I really didn't need to know about'_.

"**As opposed to the picture of an insane mass murderer reaching into an open skull and foraging about? Or does he use a fork in that portrayal of yours? You know; to keep his hands clean. Maybe that's why they can't find any fingerprints."**

"That is so not funny."

"**I'm not laughing, am I?**"

…

"Maybe he takes them apart. You know, like those doctors on TV with their scalpels and whatever. He's always going on about seeing how things work. Maybe he just…digs right in there and finds out."

"**Well, you certainly are getting into this, aren't you?"**

"Hey, I'm just considering the possibilities here. When I find myself alone in a dark alley with that lunatic heading my way, I'd like to know….what's going to happen."

"**You know exactly what's going to happen. He'll kill you. And then he'll take your power. And he will use it to destroy **_**everything**_** that ever meant **_**anything**_** within your life."**

"Are you always this encouraging? I don't know about you, but I'd like to be prepared. Maybe it's 'cause I'm a cop or something, but I'd rather know what I'm in for than find out the hard way."

"**There is no way but the hard way. See me…I don't know what he does to the brains. And I don't care. What would it matter, even if I did find a way to rationalize the motive behind murder? That doesn't change what he is. It doesn't change what he's done. People are dying because of what he's doing – whatever he's doing. All I need to know is that he needs to be stopped."**

"Well, no argument from me there."

…

"**Diffusion."**

"I'm sorry; _what_?"

"**I always thought it was by diffusion. You know, the way a tea bag gets tea throughout the entire cup."**

"Your theory is that Sylar…is a tea bag. Was this before or after you determined that Peter was a sponge?"

"**You wanted my opinion, now you have to endure it. What I think is that somehow, he is capable of detecting gradients between specific levels of information, and manipulate it such that that which is of higher concentration within the target's brain seeps into his own. Diffusion. It would have to be highly specialized, though. And controlled in the sense that the process would not settle about equilibrium, but seek to absorb everything that was not already in his possession. Hence my coining of the term **_**'parasite'**_** in that particular reference."**

"So my theory is that Sylar is either a cannibal or a homicidal brain surgeon. And yours is that he is either a tea bag or a human leech."

"**Well, if you want to put it in the crudest of terms, then yes."**

"It's a good thing he can't read minds, then, because I have a feeling that would really piss him off."


	2. Chapter 2

_**So…**_

… _Maya or Peter?_

_-- Adam and Sylar_

* * *

"Did you hear about Suresh's little 'talk' with Parkman? From what I heard, they had quite a bit of fun at your expense." 

"**Fun is all a matter of perspective now, isn't it? They should enjoy it while it lasts. After all, I have so many delicious plans for all my shiny toys."**

"Ah…the maniacal laughter. That makes me feel all warm and tingly inside. So am I to assume that's what the whipped cream is for?"

"**The whipped cream is for something that is absolutely none of your business. And why are you going through my underwear drawer anyway?" **

"I had to make sure you were not going to strangle me with your panty hose."

"**I'm a pathological killer with the ability to do just about anything I want…why would I murder you with panty hose?"**

"Hey, I'm just being cautious here. You meet all kinds over the years, you know. Although somewhat more disturbing that your threat was the implication that you actually _do_ own panty hose."

"**Maybe I do. Whatcha gonna do about it? Harass me for not shaving my legs?"**

"No. Actually, there's a strange appeal in getting in touch with one's more feminine side."

"…**I think you spent too much time masturbating in that cell of yours."**

"Well you…you have abnormally prominent eyebrows!"

"**Your hair looks like the good side of a rat's testicles. Are we going to keep stating the obvious all day?" **

"Be my guest. I _am_ immortal, after all. I have all the time in the world"

"**Please. Why would I waste my time? I have better things to do. People to kill. Companies to destroy. Trivial little things like that which sadly will still be more important than **_**you**_**."**

"Excuse me? Are you not the same megalomaniac serial killer who's been driven insane by a lust for power? Don't you want to steal my ability?"

"**Patience, patience. You of all people should know that it's all a matter of organizing one's priorities."**

"…Now why does that gleam in your eye completely not bode well for me?"

"**Because you learn faster than most. Now stop whining and pass me the cheese, unless you want to make your own damn sandwiches!"**

"Perish the thought. I must admit you have a surprisingly productive talent for anal arrangements and compulsive hoarding. Although did you really need to fashion them like brains?"

"**You have your fetishes. I have mine."**

"Touché. By the way, about what I asked you earlier: Maya or Peter?"

"**Peter. Definitely. In the shed with a can of whipped cream. I told you I was saving it for a special occasion."**

"…We _are_ still talking about murder aren't we? Or did we move on to the fetishes without me realizing it?"

"**Fuck you."**

"My god, forget Suresh's list; you have a list all of your own! Who's after me, then? It's Suresh, isn't it? Good grief – are you _blushing_?"

"**It's called anger. And this – this is called **_**telekinesis**_**!"**

"Oh, come now, it was just a joke. Where's your sense of humour? Sylar? Oh my - OH MY GOD, THAT IS NOT SUPPOSED TO FIT IN THERE!"

"**Pwned, bitch."**

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End file.
